Let me introduce you to the latest member of my rapidly expanding erm items in my bag:
TADA! (:
yes, can see my fingers holding the handbook of the phone. why a picture of the picture of the phone?
cuz I can't use my phone to take my phone's picture right????
(unless I use mirror la)
I guess there'll be more picture deluges to brighten this place up! x)
It's so coincidental but there's a review in the papers today about this phone model and I must agree with the review.
The middle button is kinda unresponsive and the picture quality ain't great, but the saving grace lies in its design as well as music function. (:
WAHAHAHA! I think I'm mad sometimes.
ps: I'm currently addicted to using this: x as in x) or x( or xD or xp. Heh, heh, you get what I mean yea? xp
12:48 am
The Phone-less days Vs The New Phone
Tuesday, 26 June 2007
Oh man, it's started to rain, I'm cold, having a flu still & sleepy... Zzz...
I shall try to make this fast and short. (:
Good for ur right? Since my entries tend to the long-ish side.
Miss Lum finally has a new phone!!! x)
& the number's very easy to rmb and lovely too. (Actually it was picked by Dad, I didn't want to the number at first cuz it was too easy for people to remember. xp)
(If you probe further I shall tell you: "Eh, number too easy to remember, then how to test whether the Guy remembers ur no ie concerned about you!")
(WAHAHA! xp KIDDING I SWEAR!)
Okie, its the Nokia XpressMusic 5700! (: AND it's in white and red! (white and green, i'd love it more! xp)
I'm still slowly taking my Time to type in the contacts for my hp and mass sending the message. (I did my family, closest friends, primary school friends, teachers and colleagues first. Next, I needa type my sec school friends & jc buddies.)
Actually I don't really mind the Phone-less days.
It's good to be uncontactable sometimes, you know. x)
I find it very hard to decline people sometimes when I don't want to go out.
I feel it goes along the lines of like snubbing people.
I'm just that sort of person that's able to stay home the entire day lah... and its days consecutively too! =x
I don't like to give the reason I don't feel like going out to people cuz... it just doesnt feel like a legitimate reason to give.
So I end up giving tons of excuses. Sigh.
White lies. But Still...
12:38 am
Baking Fever & the first Intermediate Belly Dance lesson
Sunday, 17 June 2007
Okay first thing first, my phone has died. So don't bother trying to sms or contact me anymore via my hp. Try my home number, better luck there yea? (:
Anyway, any suggestions as to which brand/model of phone is nice? (:
Right back on track for today's entry...
Ahh... If you know me well, you know I get bouts of mad fevers here & there.
I know the writing/literature/shakespeare fever hasn't burned out, the flames that have ignited years ago are still going strong. =)
Volleyball madness kinda goes on & off.
I enjoy *belly dancing but I'm not that fanatical. *more about this later, I had my first intermediate class today & boy, was I intimidated.
Baking/Cooking is something that has recently been triggered, it's been going on 3months strong.
So my friend told me this: QUEENS don't cook.
I think I'd rather not be royalty if I couldn't murk around the kitchen.
Heh Heh.
I think I'm mad. I seriously think I'm mad.
Mad but happy. x)
I took about 3 recipes here & there from the net.
I took this Chewy Centred Choc Chunk Cookie from Cheryl & I'm so going to try it when I can!!!
CHEWY COOKIES, HEAVENLY!!! 0_o Think Subway cookies but even better! *drools.
I so wanna go browse again for more equipment, recipes/cook books & ingredients.
I would dearly dearly so wanna get a Food Processor, Ice-Cream maker & more baking tins/trays.
Oh yea, and more cookie cutters.
I took another 2 recipes from I-can't-remember-where but I think it's from thenovicebaker.blogspot.com.
yea, It's this Outrageous Choc Cookie & Golden Scones recipe. (:
Tea Time, anyone? ;p
I'm so seriously seriously tempted to go Phoon Huat to buy those scrumptious coloured vanilla icing.... x) Just imagine what beautiful decorations can come out of them.
Oh yea, I so love baking more than cooking.
Well, for now, who knows when I get older, I might actually love to cook more than bake.
It'll just have to wait till tomorrow, it's 9.41pm already.
Been going on a crazy cookie spree recently, did MNMs coated choc chips cookies yesterday.
Okay okay, tomorrow! Tomorrow I'll do it, yea? AND I'll go running too, I can't afford to put on anymore weight. =X
** Yes, about Belly Dancing, Jules & I went to the other CC called Ci Yuan CC today cuz our teacher didn't offer intermediate belly dance at The Serangoon CC.
Well, we didn't want to join the intermediate class & wanted to continue with beginner's class (3?) at The Serangoon but Susanna (Dare I call her that? ;p) told us that we should move on.
OMG, everyone in the class has learnt belly dance for about at least close to a year!
And needless to say, they're all older like about late 20s to 40s like that.
We were such nubes. Like totally. >.<
Looks like we can't run away from practising at home now.
I needa practice.... i) The snake arms ii) The 3/4 shimmy/ 3/4shimmy + box step iii) backwards undulation of the tummy. (Actually, I need to practice the forward undulation too. >.<)
See, thats how jialat we are compared to them. hehe.
And oh yea, they practice with their shirts rolled up to see their bellies while me and jules were too coy to do so. >.<
Well... yes, We've got a long way to go but we're going for it somehow.
xD
9:29 pm
Floggers and Baking Madness
Saturday, 16 June 2007
I love to eat.
I love to bake.
And I count Hui Ning and Gerry, my two ultimate makan gluttony sinners. (I'm very easy to tempt and hard to control. >.<)
I've been wanting to visit her blog for such a loooooooooong time since the time when I saw her being featured in Her World May Issue 2007 & more recently, The Sunday Times Foodie Pages.
She's known as a flogger, her name's Cheryl Chia and she's an NUS undergraduate. Oh goodness me, she loves to bake! xD (AHAHA!)
She's more relevant to people our age group, particularly cause of her writing style.
I've been stocking up my goodies and equipment, and it's been a serious drain on my finances BUT... It's worth it, there's seriously this joy in creation. x)
I've been dying to do: - Onde Onde - Kueh Blenka (Spelt like this?) - Chocolate Chip Cookies
There's more lah, but these are those that have been tugging at my heart-strings for quite a while.
Things I've been dying to re-try/improve: - Creamy Mushroom Sauce - Brownie - Tiramisu (I still have mascoprone cheese! (: *drools. ) - Mud Cake (Need to figure out how to melt choc properly) - Blueberry Muffins
Hehe, I here those white/dark choc chips calling out to me. Think I'll go entertain them! Later then! (:
ps: I might do up a foodie blog too sometime later this year when i've a ready camera and I'm free. (:
3:13 pm
Last Vestiges of Innocence
Thursday, 14 June 2007
I'm going to miss Gwee! (: She just left for her HK trip, hope she enjoys herself and must takecare!
Yay and... I'm going to play batminton and vball with Hui Ning tomorrow! xD
Somehow the volleyball fever is gradually but slowly warming up again, I do love ball games you know. (:
Esp those that are non-racket sports types eg vball, bball and netball, I'm better with my hands lah.
I went for another volunteer session today with Pauline and we discovered that Tze Yong's dyslexic!
He speaks very quickly and eloquently for his age but Valerie discovered today that he can't really read well as the words appeared jumbled to him. He also sees and writes mirrored visions of certain words like boy vs doy. He actually wrote doy and thought it's right.
I'll miss my little angels, its 2 more sessions to go and I'll really like to help and guide them through the years on. (:
They make me melt.
Anyway, today I returned to iDA with Pauline to meet Brenda and Darren for lunch.
Also, I met up "coincidentally" with Gerry there too. >.< style="font-size:78%;">He's one guy with a freaking huge ego bigger than his head and has the sensitivity level smaller than atick. =x
Gosh, that was tiny and... mean. ;p
I do like and admire him to a certain degree especially his tenacity to want to perserve in his duties no matter what but, we just have conflicting and divergent personalities.
Things seem to have changed vastly in the office, it seemed to be happier and friendlier in the past and almost all the temps have left.
The only remaining temps are Wan Yu ( leaving next friday), this new girl I've never met before & Alex.
Desmond has been upgraded to a perm staff. xD How cool is that!!!
Yes, there's a vast shift in the atmosphere, like one of bullying and struggles.
I'm really really going to treasure my university days a whole lot, the working world's so messy and just plain disgusting, yea?
Strangely that previous question stated above ties in very well with the heading of the previous entry.
Sigh. Cynic man, I am. It's like the last vestiges of innocence ebbing away.
9:23 pm
What exactly is a friend?
How much a believer are you in Horoscopes, superstitions and the mystics?
I know I am. xD
There's this particular line about the yearly horoscope about pisces that struck me: "Home and domestic issues are extremely important to you this year. You will feel close to those you love in your home environment. You are selective about emotional attachments."
Haa, so so so very true.
This is especially true for the last line, I'm super super super selective about such bonds now like with friendships.
What makes a True friend? (The unspoken support & golden warm silence which Time can never deftly slice through?) A best friend? (The laughter and the tears through joy & woe?) A good friend? (Memorable moments but nothing more?)
Why do we label?
Why even have so many varied layers of distinguishing factors?
Why this selection?
I think sceptism and fear drives this feelings out the most.
I can't comprehend anymore. It's leaving me numb when I think about my jc friends.
2 years ain't enough to see through the veneer of the faces of people whose innocence have start to shred and walls start to form.
I'm currently trying to cheer Gerry up and his misery; there's so many reasons why I'd chose to steer clear of that self-inflicted agony and he's yet another living testimony to that pain.
That silly thing called Love.
12:07 am
Puppie Madness
Saturday, 9 June 2007
I've always been afraid of Dogs, you know, cuz I've been chased once by this huge black vicious stray when I was aged 3 but...
JUBLES'S SO ADORABLE! xD
(Even though he chased me when I first met him too.)
He's so nice to pat and cuddle and licky. (:
OMG. he makes me so tempted to ask Mummy & Daddy for a Dog, though... I realised that I may not be able to commit to him cuz' I'll be staying in a hostel soon. ):
Oh well, just have to wait till I'm older. (ie i) RETIRED AGE ii) Staying on my own iii) Single, Unmarried & Happy with my dog at age 30)
(I asked Mummy for fun just now even though I knew what her answer will be. xp This makes the third time she rejected me since I was a kid. >.< )
But these are the breeds that I've been thinking about.
I did my research, okay? (: They are not super super active kinds, just need to walk once or twice a day like 1/2 hour. Maybe the Schnauzer would be the super active one. xp
But anyway, here they are:
Baby Cocker Spanniels! ARGH, SO CUTE!
Cocker Spaniel! xD My top choice, she's gorgeous huh?
OR get a SCHNAUZER, instead? (: SO CUTE right? He's got such a dignified look.
This is the grown-up version of the Standard Schnauzer.
Papillon! (: LOOK AT THE EARS! OMG, I'll call her PAPPY! xD
The grown up Pappy! (: SO BEE-YOU-TI-FUL! *sighs.
HAHA! So much for Dog madness, even though I may not be able to EVER get one.
Oh well, fun researching though. (:
7:31 pm
Burried Relics
Friday, 8 June 2007
In restrospect, I'm grateful.
I'm grateful that I was able to enter university and pursue a course of my interest, when I've been rendered incapcitated and sleeping for almost the entire year of 2006.
There are reasons why relics of the past should be forgotten and left burried.
Father Time has his ways to assuage all the pain that existed before, yet this deception happens only because of the failure of our own memory capacity.
I started the night missing somebody in many good ways (strangely), yet when I read old blog entries that imprinted the past events... I remembered why.
I remembered the intensity, vulnerability and rawness of it all.
I'll never forget the words I once heard before and that, finally and totally determined it all.
So these words that I wrote after what was said stay still: I loved you, that once. And always.
It's true.
The rawness of the scars and indelible mark left can only mean that.
That scar and pain meant empowering the person with the ability to hurt us and so implies we still care enough to get burnt.
It's a once that stays for the obscure pain does rise to the occassion, but it doesn't mean that Once merits the same depth, breath and length it once wield.
Tiny minute proportions, but there. Always.
But, remember, I've learnt to bury and ignore the impossible.
2:13 am
Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, Will be. The Future's Not Our's to See.
Thursday, 7 June 2007
It's one of those few days, I actually feel excited about the future. =D
The Entry Title is actually this childhood song Que Sera Sera. (Though Kill Sera, Sera is fine by me too. ;p Kidding, Really!)
I've been wondering what career path I ought pursue and what options would be made available.
I do know one thing though, as far as I can, I will AVOID a 9-6 Office Job that requires you to sit and stare at the computer.
It just spells B-O-R-I-N-G.
The 4 most exciting options by far:
i) Journalism (:
ii) Teaching (Literature! xD)p
To help mould someone's life, to impart the beauty and passion for Literature... (: Utter BLISS.
iii) Educational/Child Psychologist (:
iv) Business: Shake's Treats
This idea has been gnawing at me for quite some Time.
You know, I do love to bake. I do love Literature and Mr Shakespeare.
OMG, what better way than to combine these two twin passions together. (:
A Cafe with the Shakespearian Theme!!!
I named it The Shakespeare Cafe tentatively then, but now I'm thinking... Shake's Treats. =D
I'll name the Cakes after Shakespearian Names or Quotes and give explainations why they're named so.
Like... Tiramisu becomes "Stuff That Dreams are made on". Durian Cheesecake can be "The Green Eye'd Monster". Mud Cake will be "Othello".
=D Lovely idea, eh?
And then... I shall do MUFFINS. I was thinking in flavours of Blueberry, Cranberry and Banana.
I'll call them Quotables cuz...
They'll be like a la Fortune Cookie kinda thing, instead of fortunes, you get a random slip of paper which has a Quote on it, Whom said it and which Play.
I'll also do my killer addictive brownies. xD (I'm not BHB okay? (: Eat them and you know why.)
But I guess I'll leave them alone as they are and not name them anything.
I was thinking Dark Choc, Black Forest, Triple Choc versions of them.
Maybe when I can afford to expand, I'll consider doing a mini library area of books. (: I can even do special seasonal cakes for other authors like Jane Austen! xD Or maybe even bi-monthly themes of certain Plays or Novels ie February We'll have Romeo & Juliet.
See why I'm so excited. It's just an idea... (: It may come true, it may just be a dream but it keeps me happy & motivated anyway.
Ahhh.. The Stuff that DREAMS are made on. :D
1:25 am
Way Back Into Love
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
I was listening to the radio and this song caught my heartstrings.
Yeps, I know this song is kinda oldish already but there's just sweet and poignant about the words.
Enjoy! (:
You might even wanna sing out loud to yourself in the living room but then... it might just rain. ;p
Way Back Into Love, Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away Just in case I ever need them again someday I've been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine I've been searching but i just don't see the signs I know that it's out there There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to she'd some light Not somebody just to get me through the night I could use some direction And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love And if I open my heart again I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
Oh oh oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do And if you help me to start again You know that I'll be there for you in the end
Oh oh oh
12:16 pm
Drawn to... Psych; that's short for Psychology. (: (: (:
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Better get this load off my chest, first.
Guess what? This Silly Do-Do here... Failed her BTT. =X
Don't ask why, how or what.
Enough said.
The next test is on 6 July, 2pm. Better Seriously Mug this Time.
Anyway, yes, I'm rather drawn to doing Pychology suddenly or even Social Work.
The volunteering at the Hougang Care Centre reeeeeeeeeeeally sparked that interest.
Pauline and I are currently helping Kai Qi, a social worker who just graduated from NUS FASS a year ago.
She is actually running the Stop, Think and Do programme for children ages 7-9 with some learning and social skills disabilities.
The Stop, Think, Do programme is actually written by this Australian Writer (Whom, I can't recall what the name is!) and it is based on the traffic lights we see on the road.
The idea being we use this simple analogy to guide the kids to STOP when they feel anger, sadness, happiness, fear before they act on their impulse in some disruptive manner. Then we teach them to THINK before they act and lastly DO actions that are positive and non-disruptive.
We started helping out last week. It lasts for 8 sessions and takes place twice a week. We also met Valerie, another volunteer, she's actually doing her masters on Educational Psychology at NIE. So she's actually placed at the centre now as she's doing her practicum.
We've got 4 charges, Matthew, Tze Yong, Daryl and Clifford.
We have a sort of Sticker collection competition to reward attentiveness and the well-behaved boys. It works like a charm, trust me. =D
I'm taking care of Tze Yong. He's a lovely boy but he does have this problem of speaking out in turn in group discussions. They're all a little hyperactive too.
Clifford and Daryl will actually run around the room and sprawl themselves all over the floor.
To the boys, We seem like we're merely teaching them how to be good boys and having fun with them playing all those games. But really, there are messages embedded within them. (AND at the same time, we're analysing each individual.)
They actually have difficulty recognising emotions.
This is why sometimes kids with such disobedience issues often repeat their acts of mischief without knowing why or how it even infuriates the adults.
They can't recognise Anger in its' face, quite literally!
It was Clifford that incited that interest, most acutely.
We always have a de-briefing session after the programme to discuss how else can we improve and the cater the programme better for the kids as well as what we have observed about them.
Clifford is actually an interesting person to observe and analyse.
At the start of each session Kai Qi would re-cap the lessons learnt in the previous session with a Q & A.
Clifford sat away from the group but was answering enthusiastically, to the extent of even interrupting others in mid-sentences.
We learnt more about feelings that day and we were sharing about things that made us scared, happy, sad and angry.
Interestingly, Clifford clammed up, shut up, shrugged and gave "Don't Know" for answers.
WHAT A HUGE VAST CONTRAST!
Then we discussed about him. I was wondering whether he didn't want to share about his emotions IF NOT he didn't know what they were. Then the senior psychologist came in and she joined in.
She suspected that he wasn't able to express himself verbally about emotions due to his family background. His parents are divorced! 0_O Usually such kids only know emotions like anger the most as they see their parents waging wars on each other all time. He hasn't the proper moulding from a model to understand what emotions are, apart from anger that is. He's actually very intelligent as he could easily regurgitate factual information when we did the Q&A.
Wow.
AND I realised why he was so attached to his doggie pencil box already. He does have a pet dog at home, you know. He does spend a lot of time with it. And you know... Pet Animals do assuage that loneliness within you and give you unconditional Love.
That's why he's so attached to his Dog. WOW. =D
I'm really curious about psychology.
I think I know what I'm pursuing in my Minors. =D
1:52 pm
People don't usually fail BTT, right?
Monday, 4 June 2007
Die Die Die.
People don't usually fail BTT, right?
But what happens when you do? =X
That is ie I do.
LOL.
I didn't mug for it today at all. Splendid, aye?
I better get started.
And... I'm So EXCITED. I'm going to see my wonderful kids tomorrow at the hougang care centre. =D then thereafter... dooms!
Matthew, Tze Yong, Daryl & Clifford; my little devils. =D
Ps: I overslept today and didn't go for the e-trial. =x
1:34 pm
Angsty Rawr Rawr Mood
Sunday, 3 June 2007
Just some bits of randomness before I truly begin:
First things first, I needa kill myself for not completing/having done any work for the GPA. OMG, I needa kick up the... *Ahem. Nevermind about that.
Next, I just heard this song on the radio: "Hate me today... Hate me tomorrow... Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you" The title's "Hate Me" by Blue October.
This line drove hard into me: Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
It just sounded damn darn familar.
It's still an OUCH in anycase.
Anyway, this song also reminded of Reliant K's "Who I am hates who I've been".
Oh yea, angsty rock theme songs.
The last bit is I'm still doing some revision for my e trial test tmr for my BTT. *gasp. I totally forgot about the actual test on monday till yesterday then I hurriedly muddled through and studied the whole thing. =X And hurriedly registered myself for an e trial on Sunday which is at 815am. *yawns. Oh man. I will pass my BTT, right? I like... hardly studied. =X
Anyway, went out with Mr Gerry for dinner.
I didn't see him for about a month or so since he entered army. I didn't feel like going out tonight lah but then I think I declined him too many times already.
He was leaving the place he's coming from at 7pm. I asked him "Eh, you sure enough Time for you to travel?" That idiot said ok ok 730pm is fine, I'll be able to meet you. (:
Guess where he was coming from?
Expo to Clark Quay.
In the end, as I expected I met him at about 750pm.
I waited for him for 20mins. >.<
Well.. To be fair, I made him wait half an hour in a prior meeting. =D *evil smile.
We did our usual erm basking in gluttony kinda thing at Fisherman's Wharf.
He treated me, of course. (: Compensation for being late lah, WHAHAHA! =X
Then as usual, we headed to our coffee joint at Starbucks and lounge around, before heading to the waterfront to just sit and talk.
Today's conversation took a slightly more sombre mood in an unintentional seemingly innocuous topic.
On many counts, I don't feel good about myself, particularly academically. (And the scars left.)
And many times, it's not that I can't.
I know I actually CAN DO it.
BUT I ALWAYS let myself be driven to distraction by some seemingly important silly innocucous thing then.
I hate it. I hate myself for my foolishness really.
And this is part of the reason why I steer so far away from any emotional attachment from any of the opposite sex now. (I can find you reasons 101 why not to go near them seriously.)
IF NOT..
Honestly, I'd go botch up subjects that I ought have excelled in.
Eg. Comb Humanities in sec4, I got a B4 instead of an expected A1 which I usually do. I've would have gotten 12 points instead of 15! Eg GP which I got a pretty C5 instead of at least a B3.
Tell me do I have cause to be angry, annoyed and upset with myself?
I see PLENTY.
Had I not mugged hard enough or got overly cockily confident????
It's always those repercussions that hits you hardest after the circle has spinned its full round.
Sometimes it seems whether I try or not, I'm just always second best.
The What-Ifs always hit and hit over again. Yes, you do know: i) It's not possible to switch back time. ii) It's always there.
I don't know why I bother even appealing when I know what the outcome will be.
It's true, your biggest adversary tend to be oneself and indeed, it is. I just realised the shift of anger was from another to onself.
I never feel bright enough.
You see all those news reports about the Average scoring Dragon Babies, Universities and Competition. And all those forum messages in Straits Times about this entire thing.
It just shows you how hard and unforgiving this society can be if you do not attain the required grades.
They'll never understand our pain, the pain of the Average (Note: I SAID AVERAGE SCORING) Student nor those that try so hard but laspe in their reach to the ultimate goal.
I've got that pain, lots of it.
It'd take more time to let everything ebb away. A LOT LOT more time.
I DON'T CARE.
SINCE NTU IS WHERE I'M HEADING, I'M BLOODY GOIN TO DO A PRETTY GOOD DARN JOB OF IT.
I'M GOIN TO GET MY FIRST CLASS HONOURS FOR LIT, no matter what.
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