SEVERE WRITERS BLOCK
Sunday, 20 May 2007
OMG.
I'm terrible, aren't I?
I left this baby alone for about close to a month & the only reason why I'm here
it's just to merely type something nonsensical down to un-clog my mind.
ARGH! I'm suffering from writer's block.
I realise my mind's most alert at this queer sleepy hour. It's supposedly when I write best.
It's like every single time I'm told/expected to perform my best in writing, I will get blocked/stuck/clogged and nothing goes through.
It's exactly like that when I go for my literature exams too.
Oh just ask Miss Thiang, the practice essays we did for pre-A level revision were all like crap. She even wonders why I even bother submitting the essays for her to see at that point.
I remember writing a full length of an entire page for an essay question before deciding I was frustrated and disastified with it and so I struck it out. Then I had merely like 20mins left to complete the essay in which I did like only 3-5 paragraphs of shady shallow work. (considering my usual length is somewhat 5-6pages long)
UTTERLY DISGUSTING.
I just can't help it. I have to perform under exams conditions to feel that time constrain, that tension, that degree of knowing I have to complete it in that time period to score that drives me.
(Although my GP grade is no testimony to that statement, I know.)
I JUST CAN'T WRITE OUT OF THAT CONTEXT OF SETTING.
It's disturbing because I pretty much want to try to compete in the GPA biennial competition
and I'm dry out of words.
To put it pretty crudely, I'm having writing constipation.
It's tough because I feel that even under the best circumstances of my best performance I could potentially fulfill... It just might not be good enough.
Oh man, you should go see the past years first prize winner's essays.
OMG, they wrote with such depth, breath, skill, finesse and substance.
Aye, the submission deadline is: 31 July 2007.
I've still got somewhat 2months plus more...
BUT it ain't enough!!!!!
I think I'm working myself up into a state of frenzy before I even try anything.
Ok ok, I'll stop here.
I promise myself, I'll try TO CHURN some meagre bits out tonight.
Ideas aplenty I've got, Words meagre & unthought.
1:09 am
