flowers.in.the.window.
This is her heart's access. Well, in a way. (:
You know, how you can't help revealing
facets of yourself in writing.
Yea, so happy C&A-ing. xb

"You I remember because of what you are to me." (:

Monday, 23 April 2007


EEEEeeeee! Kinda pek chek with my phone.

It is acting reeeeeeeeeally screwy.
The screen flickers on and off occassionally.
I can't game. I can't watch videos. I can't take pictures. )=

AND just when I'm starting to get interested in protography.
How can one take pictures discreetly (or rather more discreetly) without her cam phone?
Sigh. Shall have to persuade Dad to loan me his laopok digital cam for tomorrow. :S

I'm not quite sure what happened since my previous song erricson phone had similar problems.
Hmmm. it's either: i) the SIM card is weird.
ii) My chor-lor-ness rendered my phone incapacitated. (I'm always dropping it onto the floor.)

So I started preparing to make way for a new phone. :D
By writing out all the phone numbers on a piece of paper.

It seemed like an uphill task really. But I did it! =D

It catalysted the mood for some (profound xb Kidding!) thoughts though.

I was wondering about well, how heartless I have been.

I don't really make an effort to keep in touch with people I realised.

There were so many names in my handphone list that I remembered and
at some point in the past, these people were so close to me.
Some you shared tears with. Others peals of laughter.

Yet somewhere along the way, as Father time trickles away, I dropped them.

Unintentionally or intentionally?

Perhaps I just don't make enough of an effort.

To name a few, my secondary school friends I've met in lower sec,
people like Jia Li, Mei Geok and Pei Si.
(Our Chinese gardens trips)

Even Wong and Yi Kang who at some distant place in time...
We did spend some really great moments together. (:
(The coffin mnc we set up for sec 3 geog project.)

Jacqueline and Joyce whom I met during first three months.
(EOL 2005 (: it's grease lightning! )

My Primary school friends particularly! People like Jessica, Pearly and Zhao Yu.

Actually, there are more people I can think of that fits this list but...
I shan't dwell too much about it, my conscience is gnawing really hard.

But somehow people always end up like that.
Somehow no matter how much you say you'd keep in touch and all,
there's this lazy quality that ebbs in eventually.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has such "heartless tendencies".

You know at some point we shared the laughter, tears and precious memories of the yesteryears.

I think my friends whom I've met like ten years ago or less,
those friendships suffered the most damage from pure neglience.

Sometimes, it's not that I don't want to pick up those pieces.
So much Time has elasped that the heart doesn't recognise the special connections one
has with those people anymore.

Time has rendered all those special moments to morph into awkward ones,
where you really really do small coffee shop talk to update each other of your lives.

I'm kinda suspecting my relations with my JC friends might suffer the same fate.
They've been saying that I MIA-ed quite some bit this year and honestly, yes,
I know I did.

(But I stayed away for reasons too. Sorry. >.< )

I'm glad I've been able to maintain ties with Shing Yee and Hui Ning. :)
Honestly, they do put in a lot more to sustain and keep everything moving.

The past can only be the past. So let the present determine the future.

AND Yes, so I'm not going to let my existing relationships with my jc buddies and closest girlie friends from secondary school deterioate.

Like Ah Neh (Xin Yi) said "30 years from now, we'd still be goin to Joo's (HN) house to play mahjong." =D

Well said indeed. :)

So "You I remember because of what you are to me." :)


Here's poem I've read that depicts this well also.
It's about how one remembers forgotten people from the past.

So keep those Christmas Cards sending when the season come! :D ENJOY READING!



Christmas Card - Rod McKuen

Where do they go
the people in our lives
that sail in like green leaves
and disappear like snow?
Not just in December
or the stormy winter months
but through the year
and through the years.

Looking up a name today
I passed through three pages of G's
and found at least six names
I can't remember or never knew.

I addressed and sent
Christmas cards out and over to them
all the same
for what if someone
somewhere else
fingering over his phone book
passed over those same names.
Happy Christmas G's and X, Y, X's
and thank you for whatever care
or kindness you passed along to me
that my addled brain forgot.

You I remember
because of what you are to me.
Merry Christmas.


ps: I think this poem would have had more effect if seen during the december season, innit? xb

9:08 am

Note to self: Sustained Interest PLEASE.

Sunday, 22 April 2007

I can't quite recall what's the exact number of blogs I have had over the years.
Terrible innit? My interest never seems to sustains well.

I love all of my blog's addresses, they all mean something to me.
Heart-access.

Yes, heart's access. It is after all something that is rather personal to me.


Well, but I Love to write still and I'm rather free these days so...
*grins, I shall attempt to keep this up and going once more.
Besides I realised it's a rather good way to keep in touch with people you hardly do anymore.

I'm probably goin to do some back-tracking and typing of entries now that I'm so free.

They were right, the after-As sydrome and life is, indeed, a blissful state.


Well...
That is, if you're not working. :D

I do miss iDA. I mean, I do miss the PEOPLE at IDA.
But certaintly not the job nature.

BLEAHS.

I kept thinking of Silas Marner and the term "mechanical existence",
which made Pauline really amused I think.


But I made a whole bunch of great people there, like Pauline (disney kid), Darren (Da Tou), Gerry (Twin), Auntie Brenda, YanTing, JingYi, Tony (Lim/Shuai (: ), Debbie...

heh, promised to lunch with Brenda and Pauline soon. (:

I learnt quite a fair bit there, particularly about self and my likes and dislikes.


Almost everyone out there is doubting that I'd be able to sustain life at home
for like the next 4 months.
But, hey, guess what? It's been 3 weeks and I'm still going strong. :)

I've been picking up a little queer stuff here and there to learn.
Heh, I've been like baking a lot. Seriously, whole lot for the past weeks.

I've done about 7 cakes so far and cooked two dishes. =D

AND I'm developing this uncanny auntie-ness in me!
SCARY alright. Cuz I've been a regular customer to NTUC, Shop and Save and Sheng Xiong and.... Aye, you get the idea, right? :S

I'm already currently learning belly dancing, hehe, with Wanting and Jules.
I'm probably going to take up Driving soon.
But I'd really want to learn blading, tennis and jewelry-making.

OH YES! and PHOTOGRAPHY. (:
The trip down to SPH with the PeiHwa Media Club kids inspired that too.

Byran's, whose the resident sph photographer, pictures were reeeeeeeeeeally good.
(I'm not quite sure if the sentence above is grammatically sound.xb)
He really captured the essence of the photoes, the soul of it.

As he said "Colours attract the eye, but Black and white pictures attracts the soul".
It made sense really since if a picture stripped to its barest sense of images and yet
it is able to capture the mood and the human conditions from the photoes, it is a good one
which reaches out to our hearts and souls.

When he showed us the photo shots he did during the SARS period, it was really really dark and sombre. It made you feel teairng a little, quite sad really as he was able to recount the lives of the people whom he had taken pictures of and some of them actually sucummbed to the SARS virus and passed on.

SPH naturally gave the kids assignments to fulfill which was due on 21 May.

*note to self: Bryan's email is: byranv@sph.com.sg.
Do submit photoes to him if I ever get the inspiration and urge to do so.

Their assignment was to compile a photo essay about their favourite place/hang out.
Oh yea, in case, you're wondering, a photo essay is NOT a series of photoes that link to create a story. It is instead, a series of photoes that tell about the place. (:

AND... I really feel like trying to do this photo essay of....
*DRUM ROLLS

SERANGOON GARDENS!!! (:

I've not visited that place since I-don't-know-when but I'm ready too and it is still my favourite place for it evokes many mant sweet pleasant memories of the years before.

I think I shall attempt to do that assignment when I visit Serangoon gardens with Gerry on monday. (:

It's his FINAL SENDING OFF DINNER with me before he enters army. hehe. xb

AND he owes me stingray. =D

AND we shall go to ice^3.

AND the playground.

AND coffee bean.

Darn.

I doubt we have enough time. BLEAHS.


Anyway, life's been good and beautiful this year as oppossed to the immense emotional and academic stress I had in 2006 and well, yes the total b**** I was in the year before. X:

Ahh... Shall update more another day with a whole horde of photoes too.

ps: Pearly's right. My blog entries are always kinda toooo longish. LOL. what to do, Gerry calls me a writing whore. *frowns.

9:38 am

Cooking up a storm

Saturday, 21 April 2007






1:39 pm